Sry I called you an 8
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
