either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
