Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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