sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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