i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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