i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
