dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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