Can i not drive my cunt home
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
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Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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