you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
