Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God

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(949): View more from California

Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.

Fav 7 1253 1995
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(705): View more from Ontario

I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.

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(979): View more from Texas

I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets

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(386): View more from Florida

Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.

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(386): View more from Florida

Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested

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(801): View more from Utah

His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.

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