some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
