left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
