very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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