I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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