The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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