You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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