Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
