I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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