Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You made out with two different species that night
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
