He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
