He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
