while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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