my mouth tastes like poor choices
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I forget how to act sober
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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