Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize