I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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