I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
