you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
