i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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