I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
