bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
