Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
