Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
