I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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