oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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