Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
