You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
