Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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