Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
