This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I want her autograph on my taint
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
