Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
