I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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