I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So many bounce houses so little time
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you had me at cake vodka
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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