Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
