i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Never joke about your clitoris.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
