I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
