Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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