I got chris browned last night
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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