hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
