I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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