i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
