i permit you to call me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
