Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
