I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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