I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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