I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
