I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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