"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
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started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
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They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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