Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
