You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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