I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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